Current location:	school
Current mood:	indescribable
Current music:	disturbed stricken

my first post in years
I need to smoke a bowlski
 
i am so stressed out right now , things never seem to go the way i need . I had alot of problems with trust in my life , not so much anymore cause i really dont trust anyone anymore , before i would throw my heart out there and get stomped on but now you cant have your heart broke if you dont put it out there. I guess thats rather sad to say , but atleast it keeps me sain . College is weird , i am older then most of my classmates and they kinda ask my help on everything even when i dont know it myself. Now that i mention it i really dont know much about much anymore , i thought i did . I am alone alot of the time , i mean i dont have to be or anything i just seem to choose it , or prefer it . i dont know what to say or how to feel all i know is nothing is working out for me , i have this disposition on people and i really think i will be better off alone then to hook up with anyone . i have this problem about caring , in fact the only thing i really care about is the fact i cant care about anything , thats just sad.

i use to feel like i had a place in life , i use to have big dreams , now the only dream i have is to forget , the only place i have in life is to not belong.